I am with you!
It’s heartbreaking to know that depression took another life. Sushant Singh was a. brilliant actor who charted his own course in the Indian film industry through his sheer talent and hard work to achieve all he deserved in his life. I admired his beautiful sense of appreciation for the universe, the natural, the physical and the spiritual world and his posts were a constant means of joy and happiness he used to share with the world. He deserved all of it being a wonderful personality. But was this the death he deserved? No! It’s heartbreaking to see this happening, but what’s more heartbreaking is the fact that every year around 8 lakhs suicide cases are reported around the globe and around half of them are depression related. What’s more heartbreaking is the truth that a lot of people are still shamelessly insensitive towards mental illness and people suffering from depression, anxiety and stress disorders. That people believe and spread this narrative of those who couldn’t withstand this and commit suicides are coward and weak and they deserve it.
They were not cowards, and those who are still fighting it are not cowards or weak either. They were and they are beautiful people. They are artists, scientists, entrepreneurs, farmers, writers, doctors and engineers, beautiful kids, amazing youth, responsible homemakers and our respectful oldies. They are just ill, helplessly trapped in their own minds and It gets dark in there sometimes, and they feel really afraid and they wish for the light to seep in and people around them to understand and accept to help them go through it without making them feel like a loser or a coward.
But what we do? Ask them insensitive questions like, “why are you not feeling happy?”, “What’s the problem with you?”, “have you tried figuring out what’s wrong with you?” Sometimes, instead of providing them with our much required, quiet and peaceful presence, we provide them with our impatient solutions and bullshit opinions, “I think you’re not trying enough to get out of it.” Or “Why don’t you try to divert your attention by doing something more productive in life.”It’s so absurd! Like telling a cancer patient to divert his attention from his cancer and start focusing on something else and he’ll be fine. That’s no treatment. That’s just you being insensitive and not accepting depression as an illness and thinking of it as a bad mood or something.
Please, don’t do this! Please understand that mental illness is as real as you are. It exist, and so do people suffering from it. They deserve a kind treatment, they deserve support and strength, they deserve to be told that look, “we are with you.” “Talk to me when you feel like. Reach out to me for help or anything you need.” “I am listening to you.” “Hey, lets go out.” “You’re doing wonderful. I really appreciate your presence in my life.” Stop treating people suffering from mental illness with your insensitivity as it forces them to keep everything inside and suffer even more. Reach out to them. Talk about mental health and well-being openly so that they can reach out to you. Be compassionate to them so that they can trust you. Be patient to them so that they can feel strength through you.
Help them! So that they can outlive mental illness instead of giving up on life. So that one day they can write back to you saying, “thank you for being with me and helping me navigate through all that darkness. It would have been so difficult without you.” Just like I did right now ! I am thankful to my parents and some beautiful people in my life who reached out to me through that darkness to make me believe that what matters the most in life is ‘Life’ itself. And to those who are going through it I will say, “I am with you!”
In loving memory of Sushant and all those people who lost their lives to this illness. May your souls rest in peace and may you all forgive the world that failed you!
-rk
